Oh my goodness, CANT stop laughing!
I came here to post what I was laughing about, but I noticed that I forgot to add the link part of the link to Dave Berry's script, so the way its written, it looks like my tale of bowling is his script. Oops! Now I need to go find that link again. Although its much funnier like this.
Anyway, back to the real reason for my uncontrolable laughter! I know we just went down this road a few days ago, but today's amusemsement is a page of bad captions from an Asian bootleg Two Towers dvd. These are fabulous. My favorites?
Heeheehee! Foogray!
Real Line:"No parent should have to bury their child". Good thing the pretty child thing isnt true, or what would Legolas's parents have done? Speaking of which...
This one wasnt particularly funny, but can we stop to notice how pretty Legolas looks in the background?
And finally, the One Caption to Rule Them All. I am very, very tempted to make this my new Windows wallpaper. Its THAT good.
Last night was amusing, because Tallulah was sleeping with me as usual, and she decided that I needed to be woken up every 2 or 3 hours (11:30, 2:30, 5:30) to pet her. Love that kitten.
Do you ever have one of those lightbulb moments where something you havent even been thinking about hits you, and you suddenly get the joke? At some point when I was awake with Lula last night, a line from that night's episode of Dawson's Creek hit me-- they were on a road trip, and at some point Audrey asked "Where are we?" and Joey said "Somewhere in North Carolina". Didnt think a damn thing of it at the time, but in my late-night stupor last night, it hit me that they film the show in NC, and suddenly it was the funniest thing ever. North Carolina! Heehee.
Yesterday freaked me out. I was driving along hwy 160 to work, when this big black cat came flying across the highway right in front of my car. I slammed on my brakes, but still heard a thud. Not a good sign. I turned around as soon as I could to drive back and check on it, but it wasnt there. So did I actually hit it? Or was that the thud of my CD case falling off my seat from the motion of me slamming on the brakes? Is it ok? I am going crazy not knowing. I am sorry, kitty! Please be ok!
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posted by Crystal 12:39 PM
Tuesday, January 28, 2003
I am a bit disappointed in Dave Berry. Not only is he months late with this, I've seen it done so much better by amatures. But, for linkage sake, here is Dave Berry's Condensed Two Towers Script.
I went bowling last night with a bunch of Dixie people, and had all sorts of bowling fun. Tiffany, Laura, Irving, Mallory, and I all played the first game, while Alyssa watched. There was some darn fine bowling going on: That is to say that nobody broke 100. For the second game, only Tiffany and I stayed. I got 48 that time, while Tiffany blew me away with 198. It was nice just to see everyone again, as well as being semi-hit on by Cute Super-Bowler From Two Lanes Over. Hooray!
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posted by Crystal 5:47 PM
Monday, January 27, 2003
Who's Your Ideal Disney Guy?
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This didnt surprise me, for some reason...
I had a lovely weekend which I spent watching dvd’s, and making things to send out for Postcard x. My new addiction seems to be making handmade postcards, mostly either collage ones or with watercolors. I need to get some old magazines out of storage, because I have gone through all of the ones in my closet so many times that everything in them that is good collage material has already been snipped out.
It is nearly 5am, and yet going to sleep just doesn’t sound all that appealing. I’m actually in the mood to clean, but every time I try I nearly fall over from being so tired, so I don’t think that’s going to work out very well.
I would love to post all of the super-cute pictures I took of Gandalf the Sparkly White, but I still haven’t found web hosting I can afford, and therefore have to use my ever-so-generous 2MB of AOL space sparingly. Therefore, I’ll just post this one little picture of him, even though he deserves far more:
I found this quote in someone’s journal and emailed it to myself to post a while back, but I failed to put down who it came from, so sorry for the lack of credit! I couldn’t believe how much this sounded like me though: “I already bought myself a Britain travel book. Maybe I don't know where I'm going to live or what I'm going to be when I grow up, but damnit, I know where I'm going on a vacation.”
Going through emails to myself, I also found this one off of the Harry Potter Galleries. Sorry again that I don’t know who said this, but it cracked me up:
“A long time ago, this list discussed what happens if a female Animagus is pregnant and doesn't switch back to human form before giving birth, and concluded that Crookshanks is McGonagall's love child by a Muggle-type Persian tomcat. --Rita Winston”
I am absolutely freaking out that January is nearly over and I still haven’t done anything off of my List of Things To Do. I made a resolution to do at least 10 of them this year, so I figured if I shot for one a month, I should end up ok. Think I can find a way to get one done within the next week?
On the plus side, I’ve gotten a bit of background work done to put me on my way to completing things on the list. I’ve decided which vegetables I want to grow this year (green beans, tomatoes, and cucumbers, as well as growing sunflowers), I’ve made plans to attend a Renaissance Faire (Scarborough Faire in April with Kelly and Jim), made plans to go to LA next summer with Brooke (Which will take care of that one about seeing the hollywood sign and such), and have wonderful people sending me recipes for my recipe book. That all has to count for something, right?
In other news, I completely slept through the Super Bowl today. Isn’t that crazy? I was thinking about it last night, and I generally watch, but it didn’t even cross my mind until late tonight. Did I miss any good commercials?
Its supposed to get up to 42 tomorrow. 42!! In a land where the highs have been in the teens, that is a heat wave! I am very excited. Hopefully it will even be warm enough to ride soon, and on a day that Susie is off so that we can go. Hooray for above-freezing temperatures!
And now because you know I couldn’t get through an entry without mentioning LOTR…
I was driving last week, as usual, and began thinking about how the books, movie, and general fan culture have had such an influence on me. Thus, I present to you, the Top 12 Ways that LOTR culture has worked its way into my daily life:
1-I have adopted Ian McKellen’s roar of general indignance into my daily life. I roar at traffic. I roar when the cable goes out.
2-Find self thinking or writing v. much similar to style of Very Secret Diaries. (This is a very lovely humor site. Thanks to them I giggle at strange times during the movies when I am reminded of lines from the Diaries)
3-Am quite proud to hold the title of “Pervy Elf Fancier”
4-Refer to the extended dvd set as “My Precious”.
5-When asked how I’m doing, I have been known to reply “Good, but still not King.”
6-I am learning to speak Elvish. Both Sindarin and Quenya.
7-I know what the hell Sindarin and Quenya are. That alone says I am quite a nerd.
8-When people piss me off, I have been known to call them “filthy hobbitses” In fact, this morning, I noticed that Tallulah was not in my bed when I woke up. Mom admitted that she put her outside. First words out of my mouth? “You stole it! You stole my precious! Filthy hobbitses!”
9-If I notice that I am hungry right after breakfast? Not to worry! That’s what Second Breakfast is for. Why, you do know about Second Breakfast, don’t you?
10-Can’t look at a red sunset without thinking “A red sun rises. Blood has been spilled this night”
11-I am planning on taking up archery, just because this movie makes it look so fantastic.
12-I wander around saying things like “Do you have partridge? Bring the partridge!” and even find myself using the phrase “It grieves me to talk about this…” on a regular basis.
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posted by Crystal 5:12 AM
Wednesday, January 22, 2003
Warning- This entry was written when both very sleepy and yet a bit drugged up by frappuccino's sweet sweet caffeine. Just so you know. It shows.
I took a quiz at findyourspot.com, which tells you where you should live based on about a billion questions. Here's what we came up with.
1-Little Rock, Arkansas Where America Comes Together- Isnt that a horrible slogan for a town? Or maybe a really good one... Anyway, I dont want to live in Arkansas. Nuff said.
2-Las Vegas, Nevada Entertainment Capitol of the World- That could be fun, but I think I would lose my mind, or my money, very quickly.
3-St. George, Utah Utah’s Dixie I have never considered living in Utah, but who knows?
4- Tulsa, Oklahoma A Blend of the Best-- Eeh, nah.
5-Las Cruces, New Mexico City of the Sun -- Doesnt sound all that bad. I dig that they have a lot of native american culture. That be my people, yo.
6- Alexandria, Louisiana The Crossroads of Louisiana --I think I could live here. The weather looks perfect.
7- Shreveport-Bossier City, Louisiana Cities of Three Flags--I kinda dig Louisiana.
8-Hickory, North Carolina Blue Ridge Mountain Home - Maybe.
9- Norfolk, Virginia Heart of the Hampton Roads.---Ummm, no.
10- El Paso, Texas Where the Sun Always Shines--This makes me want to break out into song, or buy salsa. I'm not sure which.
11- Greenville, South Carolina The Rising Star of the South--South Carolina could be cool.
12-Jacksonville, Florida Florida’s First Coast-- Heh, no.
13- Ocala, Florida Kingdom of the Sun--Horses! Florida! Yay!
14-Phoenix, Arizona Valley of the Sun--Nah.
15-Henderson, Nevada A Place to Call Home--Sure, *a* place to call home, but not necessarily *the*.
16-Gainesville, Florida The Heart of Florida -- Why not the liver of Florida? Anyway, I could totally live here.
17-Clarksville, Tennessee The New South--Aww, I'm an old south kinda girl myself.
18-Biloxi-Gulfport, Mississippi The Sparkling Gulf Coast--Hummm...
19-Athens, Georgia The Classic City- I know someone who lived there!
20-Tuscaloosa, Alabama The Big Apple of the South --I am moving here just for the name. Then my kitten could be Tallulah from Tuscaloosa! You cant get any better than that!
21-Orlando, Florida Florida’s Entertainment Capital---Yeah, baby! I could live here. Well, not right in Orlando, but maybe in Winter Park or something. Although I really am digging the name of the city even more these days...
22-New Orleans, Louisiana The Crescent City ---Yeehaw! Nawlins!
23-Truth or Consequences, New Mexico City of the Sun---How about Truth or Dare? Although they seem to have hot springs there, so that's a selling point...
24-Charlotte, North Carolina The Queen City--Queen City! Sounds like the kind of place where I would make friends easily.
Well, then I went back and changed my answer to small towns only, instead of big, medium, and small. This gave us...
1->Truth or Consequences, New Mexico City of the Sun---Didnt I just talk about this?
2->Holiday Island, Arkansas Where Every Day is a Holiday--Hee hee!! Holiday!!! Island!!! Do you think its even really an island? Do you think I would get cards like, every day, since every day is a holiday? Are the banks EVER open there? I am fascinated. Time to pack my bags. And OMG! Its on Table Rock Lake! ***I*** Live on Table Rock lake!!! Who knew this fabulouly named place was so close? Rock on.
3- Springs-Hot Springs Village, Arkansas America’s Natural Spa---Hot springs! Nuff said!
4-Salisbury, Maryland Maryland’s Secluded Retreat--Didnt I say no Northeast? Crazy kids.
5-Fredericksburg, Texas City of Steeples--Nah.
6-Morganton, North Carolina Blue Ridge Mountain Home--You know you watch too much LOTR when I thought that was Dom's last name at first. Not even close.
7-Mountain Home/Bull Shoals, Arkansas Gateway to the Ozarks--Too damn close to where I already live
8-Eureka Springs, Arkansas Playground of the Ozarks--Too haunted, freaks me out.
9-Hopkinsville, Kentucky Friendliest Place in Kentucky --Humm, just how friendly is it?
10-Kerrville, Texas Hill Country Shangri-la--This looks cute.
11-Paris, Tennessee A Hidden Lakeshore Treasure --Isnt there a Kenny Chesney song about this town?
12-Crystal River, Florida Manatee Haven--Wow, they named it after me! And they have manatees! I'll go there.
13-Heber Springs-Greers Ferry Lake, Arkansas A Natural Paradise--I think I can sum my feeling about this one up in the one-sentence description they included--"The annual World Championship Cardboard Boat Races are held in this Arkansas town…" Cardboard boat races!!!
14- Cherokee Village, Arkansas Vacation Living at its Best--Cherokee! That's me!
15-Marble Falls, Texas Hub of the Highland Lakes --Humm, ok.
16-Deland, Florida The Athens of Florida--I wonder if they mean that in relation to Athens, GA or the real Athens. And if its the Athens of FL, why didnt they name it Athens instead of Deland? and really, Deland? Did French people look and say "Regarde! De land!" Pft.
It all went downhill from there, so I'll just stop.
PS- all of that bold and italic stuff was a pain in the bootie, so you better appreciate how pretty it all looks.
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posted by Crystal 1:21 AM
Tuesday, January 21, 2003
Well, we officially have digital cable now. I was quite amused that the cable guy chose to leave it on the channel playing Moulin Rouge. And of course, true to form, I had to sit down and watch it. I don’t know why, but even when I own movies, I have to watch them when they are on tv. I finally managed to pull away after Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend, and am now on my beloved Travel Channel. And oh! Guess what was on Animal Planet! A family with a pet camel! They are my new idols.
I am reminded that my dream job is to be this chick on the Travel Channel- the host of Great Hotels. Her job is to go around the world staying in these fabulous hotels and telling you about them. How do I get THAT job?
I watched the cast commentary of FOTR again last night. My original intentions were to watch the director commentary, since I haven’t seen that one yet, but I was sucked in by those cute little hobbits again.
Two more Legolas moments I adore:
*He makes a very sexy face at the Council of Elrond when Gandalf is speaking the black speech. Yeah, its supposed to be him being all disturbed by it, but it’s a sex face. Admit it.
*The “Oh man, no the dwarf!” look after Gimli says “You have my ax”
I went grocery shopping last night, and discovered something new which I adore: mango flavored dried pineapple slices. SO good! I stuffed myself on fruit and cheese for dinner last night. Yum!
I can not find my hair dryer, so I am sitting here with a towel on my head. Thank goodness my hair is short so I can do that! (Towel head with extensions is a big no-no- they get tangled and it pulls on the bonding, which hurts a lot!) I think my mom stole the hair dryer. I am off to find out. (Found it! Mom did steal it. Hooray for cute, easy to style hair!)
I am so excited to get to watch Emergency Vets again! I love this show, man. And OH MY GOSH! I forgot all about Jeff Corwin! Oh man, don’t tell me I’m going to go down that road again. (If you missed out on the old days, I have a love/hate relationship with jeff)
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posted by Crystal 12:19 PM
Monday, January 20, 2003
Man, I was trying to put some cute Ewan icons here, but it wont let me link them. Damn.
Which reminds me of this clip from Taiwan that I was watching, at the Black Hawk Down premiere, where Orlando kisses Ewan on the cheek. Wouldn’t I like to get in the middle of THAT!
I am currently kicking myself for losing the link to the fantastic Two Towers parody that this came from, but hey, its still funny.
ARAGORN: Hmm. This must be a dream.
ARWEN: Why do you say that?
ARAGORN: Because you're not even supposed to be IN this book.
I also found a page which has posted some absolutely hilarious messed up captions from FOTR. I particularly enjoyed the ones on the mines of moria page (Damn oxen!)
LOTR lines taken out of context are hilarious. Read the best here.
I am fascinated at how well marketing works on me sometimes. Today I found myself looking at the top of my tv, thinking how cute it would be if I could just put my dvd’s up there with some bookends to hold them up, which of course led to me thinking “Oooh, I really should have bought the extra-snazzy FOTR dvd set that has those bookends…”
Do not let me buy it. Please. Unless I wear out my current dvd’s. Then its ok.
Someone mentioned in a journal somewhere (I’m so accurate) that Elijah Wood never seems to be in a bad mood. I am realizing that is so true! When he is talking about his 5am call time? He’s all “Look! What a pretty sunrise! We are so lucky!”. This just amuses me. Almost as much as that time he was on the Osbournes and introduced himself to Ozzy as (whatever his sister’s name is)’s brother. Heh.
Oh yeah, forgot I am not a pervy hobbit fancier. Am pervy elf fancier. Right.
I spent the evening watching the Golden Globes. I was sad that PJ didn’t win best director, but hey, that’s what ROTK is for, eeh?
What I really spent the day doing is flipping my new short hair around. Ok, so it isn’t really short by conventional standards-a bit below my shoulders, but I took my extensions out to dye it, and then got it trimmed about 3 inches, so its about 7 inches shorter than usual. I forgot how much fun flippy hair is. I might just keep it like this for a few days.
Pardon the crappy webcam quality, my digital camera is still in the shop.
I did Buns of Steel on Friday night, for the first time in ages, and two days later, I am STILL sore! I didn’t even do the whole video! I swear, if you want the workout from hell, get this video. Not the newer version, but the 80’s one with the skinny Walker Texas Ranger look-alike that tells you to “Squeeeeze those cheeseburgers out of your thighs! And those fries!” Back when I used to do this video several times a week and didn’t feel it much anymore, I used to giggle at that line. Friday I just told him (in between screams of pain) to go to hell, because I don’t even eat cheeseburgers or fries! Fantastic the way things change—at 17 in aerobics class we just cried out in pain the first time we did this video. People passing by would stop and wonder what the screams were for. At 21, I just use every swear word possible to damn him, his brother, his dog, and his lover. Then I go after the people working out in the background. Maybe I’ll do it again tonight, just to ensure I will never walk again. My legs felt like spaghetti after I did it on Friday, I could barely walk. I think that means its working.
Brooke has enticed me with tales of a makeup artistry school in Hollywood, so we are discussing going there for a 3-week class next summer. I am terrified of living in big cities, but I think I could survive 3 weeks. Plus, hey, Orlando has a house in LA, so maybe I would run into him… (and here you thought I got away from that topic for once! HAH! Just when you think it is safe…)
19 whole days of this year have passed without me doing a single thing on my list of things to do! At least if nothing else, I have inspired 4 other people to write lists. Yay, me!
Having a kitten curled up in your bed when you are having a bad allergy day probably isn’t the best idea, but she looks so very cute there, I cant bear to put her out. She was sleeping in the sink earlier- that seems to be her new favorite spot. Crazy cat.
While at K-Mart last night in search of hair dye, I ran into Tiffany, and we spent a while shopping together and catching up. We have plans to go bowling next Monday night. Hooray!
I also got a 30-pack of CD-R’s, and a new cd case, as my old one was lost in a tragic frappuccino accident. I wanted the big square one because it reminded me of the one that Elijah has on the LOTR bonus dvd’s. How sad is that? I laughed at myself for having cd case envy, and bought the smaller one. Will allow myself to buy the big one when I am a movie star, or grow hairy hobbit feet. Anyway, I burned 3 new cd’s, which will make me very happy working this week. My favorite new songs?
Let That Be Enough-Switchfoot (LOVE this song)
Forever Is Tomorrow Is Today-David Grey
Glory and Consequences-Ben Harper
Steal My Kisses-Ben Harper
Concrete Girl-Switchfoot
Helm’s Deep-Two Towers soundtrack
Jenny from the Block-J Lo (WHY do I love this song so? I don’t know.)
I don’t know why, but I could not stop laughing at this. Dammit, now I’m hungry for marshmallows. (and yes, I went and roasted mini marshmallows on a knife over my kitchen stove after writing that)
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posted by Crystal 2:07 AM
Friday, January 17, 2003
This made me laugh far, far more than it really should have. I also adore Orli's Middle Earth Diary
And almost as much, I enjoy Top 10 ways FOTR would be different if made my Holy Grail fans.
My comments are working! Counter and all! Three cheers! Now leave me comments!
We are getting digital cable on Tuesday! I will finally be reunited with all of my beloved channels. Can't wait!
GRRR! I just checked my online banking, and I have bounced two more checks, totalling 6 in the past month or so! I really need to be more careful. The thing is, one wasnt even a check, it was with my debit card, so why didnt it decline it? That annoys me. There goes more hard-earned cash to my stupidity.
However, losing another $40 in overdraft fees was almost made better by (I was trying to link specific images here, but they dont like me, so just go here and check out the Sting and Bush ones)
AOL has been a complete pain in the ass lately. I've been getting kicked off approximatly every 5 minutes for over a week now. Its unbelievably frustrating, and I'm very tempted to switch to one of our local services until we can get dsl. My kingdom for dsl!
Bleh. I had a bunch of non-lotr stuff to write about, but I forgot, dammit. And here I had such high hopes for this entry!
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posted by Crystal 10:14 PM
Monday, January 13, 2003
Sorry there are so many, but I got on a roll,and well, he's so pretty!
Which Lord of the Rings Character are you?
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Who's your Lord of the Rings (LoTR) soulmate??
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Which Lord of the Rings Character Do You Fancy?
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Oh, I *know* he's prettier than me.
what Lord of the rings man gets you hot?
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Which Tolkein Middle Earth Race Are You? (** Lord of the Rings **)
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posted by Crystal 6:39 PM
Oh my. There’s absolutely no way this is going to end well!
I stopped at the dollar store today in search of a cheap kids bow & arrow set for my own general amusement. Teela and I used to have one when we worked at Spinnaker, and would always shoot arrows at the refridgerator in between tours. Well, I couldn’t find a bow and arrows, but I did find some arrow guns, which were the closest thing. For the fabulous sum of one dollar, I got two little guns that look like water guns with mini bows attached and eight suction cup arrows. You pull back the string of the bow and secure it, stick the arrow in the slot, and when you pull the trigger, it shoots the arrow. It came with a target!!! Mom and I played with it for a very, very long time. I can not believe how insanely fun this is! We’re really getting rather good, but the sites on the guns are a little off, so we go from near bulls-eyes to the arrows flying wildly behind the stove. Such fun! Of course, it didn’t take long before we decided to try shooting each other, just to see if it would hurt or not.
This just can’t end well! :)
This morning, as I was brushing my teeth (after 4 hours of sleep, no less...) I realized just why I dont find Elijah Wood all that attractive-- the kid could be my brother. Same brown hair, blue eyes, pale skin. I never could figure out why that cute little hobbit just didn’t do anything for me. Mystery solved!
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posted by Crystal 1:02 PM
Updated the cast and about me and reading list, cleaned out some old links, and comments should be working now. Time for sleep.
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posted by Crystal 3:51 AM
Grr, my computer crashed right as I was about to post.
First of all, since its now 2am on the 13th, Happy Birthday Orlando Bloom! May you use your birthday wish on a 20-something chick from Missouri. You know you want me.
Thanks to Brooke, I found this fabulous quiz that encompases all of those great DVD moments I was talking about earlier!
What amusing cast moment from FotR: The Extended Edition DVD are you?
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See what Care Bear you are.
I knew being Irish would come in handy eventually!
Hell yeah. Still the prettiest!
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posted by Crystal 2:22 AM
About, cast, and reading list pages all updated. I will try to update the quotes soon.
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posted by Crystal 1:16 AM
...and if a quiz says it, you know it has to come true!
Which guy are you destined to have sex with?
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posted by Crystal 1:03 AM
Who is your Ideal Lord of the Rings (male) Mate?
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Heh. What a surprise. I mean really, who saw that coming?
Much love to Brooke for the link, you pervy elf lover!
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posted by Crystal 12:44 AM
An entry full of spoilers, but if you haven't seen Two Towers by now, it's your own damn fault.
Orlando is captivating.
I stand utterly fascinated at this movie yet again. I was going to take notes so that I could remember the things that I wanted to say, but forgot my notebook. I’ll do the best that I can, though.
Legolas’s moves are so very cat-like, swift and powerful. He portrays so many feelings, so much emotion with his eyes. The precision with which he fires arrows is breathtaking. Drawing his arrow to defend Gimli, which results in hundreds being aimed at him? Hot. Speaking Elvish (Sindarin) with such beauty and so well it seems effortless? Hotter.Grabbing shield and sliding down the steps on it at Helm’s Deep? Wow wow wow.
How cool is it that the King’s clothes and armor have horses on them? You have to look closely, they are part of the design. So cool.
I want to keep Shadowfax. He looks like an Andalusion, but I’m not sure. Very cool horse. I adore the one Aragorn rides, too- the bay with the star.
I still can’t look at Gandalf appearing in the woods without thinking of laundry detergent commercials. Tolkien Detergent! Turns those old grey robes sparkly white! Our whites are brighter!
How much ass does Legolas kick? Even if I weren’t a pervy elf lover, I would be in awe of his bad-assness. The whole thing where he shoots out the support of the ladder, and all the orcs go squish? Squish! I love it!
Love love love the soundtrack. I can’t recall the name of the composer, but he’s done a fabulous job. The music blends in seamlessly, and yet adds so much to the emotion and telling of the story. Fantastic. I may actually break down and pay money for this soundtrack. It’s that good.
Love that look Viggo/Aragorn gets in his eyes. As Elijah puts it, “Something clicks, and he goes slightly mental”. Fabulous to watch. And his voice! I guess I only notice it now because I have been watching the bonus dvd’s so much, where he speaks with his normal Viggo voice, but his Aragorn voice is a bit higher somehow, and not as raspy. Not as soft. Way to act, Viggo! I can’t quite figure out what’s different about Orli’s voice as Legolas. There’s some quality to it, maybe it’s just a slight change in the accent, but there’s something. Dead sexy either way, of course.
Anyone know yet when Two Towers comes out on DVD? Please let it have bonus disks! Pleeeease! Sean hinted that Orli had screwed up quite a bit in the Helm’s Deep battle, and I’d adore to see it ;) I love when (I think it’s Elijah) says in the bonus dvd “What do you say about the guy who can do everything? Well, he couldn’t kayak!” I must add this new precious dvd collection to my shelf, next to my current precious. Em, if I start running around in a loincloth with the dvd’s around my neck on a chain, someone will get me to snap out of it, right? Because that could really be bad for the dvd’s, you know.
Despite all of the blood and rage, there is something beautiful about the battle in this movie. I think it lies in the romance of the sword and the bow. Today our weapons are based in the idea of mass destruction, they are technology wielded in the hands of men to destroy millions of nameless, faceless enemies. But these weapons, there is such grace in the ways of archery, and beauty in the swinging of a sword. It seems so much more honest a way of fighting.
This is so very out of order, but how captivating is the beginning of this movie? Starting out with Gandalf’s battle… it automatically pulls you into this level of darkness and suspense. Its high-action from the very beginning. Very cool way to start out.
I need to find the movie script somewhere online-- there are so many fantastic lines that I can't remember. I love when Legolas says something like "The red sky- blood was spilled here tonight." and of course Treebeard's "What you say makes no sense to me, but then again, you are very small" Plus I could use it to learn the elvish from this movie. Its so hard to find Sindarin resources online, most of the elvish you will find is Quenya.
Off to update some other parts of my page that haven't been looked at in a while. Expect cast list, about me, and other links to be updated soon.
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posted by Crystal 12:16 AM
Sunday, January 12, 2003
My comments are dead. Can anyone PLEASE hook me up with the url to a comment system that is accepting new registration? I feel a bit silly asking Rich to fix them, seeing that we broke up like half a year ago and such. I really shouldn’t still have them hosted on his site anymore anyway, I guess.
Tallulah has learned to play fetch. Technically, it’s the Lula version, with kitten rules, which means that I throw her peppermint (she loves playing with wrapped candy. Go figure), and she chases after it, and eventually..(usually within 5 minutes, but sometimes I look down half an hour later to notice a peppermint there) she brings it back. This does, of course, sometimes include a brief nap on her part in between the throwing and bringing back parts, but the important part is that it does come back. My kitten is a genius. One kitten to rule them all.
I think all of Kelly’s brainwashing is setting in, because I’m really starting to want to get a belly ring. And a tattoo. Well, I’ve wanted the tattoo for a while. Anyway, I would love if you would send me your piercing/tattoo stories!
Speaking of sending me things, if anyone happened to catch LOTR: Return to Middle Earth on the WB last month and tape it? I would name my first born after you if you could make me a copy. I’m desperate! My love for you would know no boundaries!
In other news, my Sims are really pissing me off. Little Sim Orlando just moved in next door to the Chicklett house, and for the love of all that is good in the world, I can not get him to meet Crystal! The chicks have thrown about ten parties, and that silly old boy doesn’t show up. He throws parties, Crystal doesn’t come.
Lets stop and think about that for a minute. If Orlando really threw a party, we all know that I would be there like white on rice. Or maybe I’d be on him like… err, nevermind. Anyway, I am starting to consider building Sim Mental Hospital for the Desperartly Insane, because if Sim Crystal is refusing to go to Orlando’s, she is obviously very deeply mentally disturbed.
You may have noticed that I mentioned that my Sims had parties. They are now able to do this without crashing the game, because I FINALLY got my bright sparkly new 128mb of ram! It brings me so much joy.
I'm going to go catch LOTR at IMAX again toinght. Yay! I was going to go last night, but my allergies were driving me nuts, and I didn't think I would even stay awake, so I decided to wait till tonight. Expect lots of rambling when I get home!
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posted by Crystal 5:30 PM
Another lotr-related entry. Sorry. Or you're welcome, depending on your level of geekyness.
So very sleepy. Want to post anyway.
I've essentially spent all of my time since Wednesday evening watching the LOTR extended dvd set. I swear, it has power over me. One DVD set to rule them all. I get caught up in watching it and forget to do things like eat and sleep. I'm sure this has nothing to do with that Orlando fellow they keep showing.
I have to admit, I’ve fallen and its all downhill from here. Just know that you’ve been forewarned. It started as usual when I first saw the movie with “That blonde elf guy is hot.” It grew, of course, and then I got the dvd’s. I was kind of worried that he would be disappointing- one of those good looking men with nothing to say. However, oh my, he certainly didn’t disappoint. Why couldn’t he have just sat there and looked pretty? Why did he have to go and have a brain? He turned out to be articulate and insightful, and frankly completely captivating. Damn. I adored what he said about the ring wraiths: “Do they not just embody evil and fear? They’re ghosts, they’re shadows of who they were. Its like if you don’t confront your fear, you become it.”
Can I keep him?
I have new love for Ian McKellen, who played Gandalf, because he supports my hobbit love theory. Thanks, Ian! He was talking about how he reminded the guy that plays Sam to hold Frodo’s hand when he is waking up, because some fans would be watching for that. Then he was saying how important that was to gay fans like him. See? Hobbit love. Even Gandalf says so.
The only thing this dvd is missing is some coverage of the transformation from brown haired brown-eyed Orlando into long blonde-haired blue-eyed Legolas. I was really hoping for that, not just because of my elf-love, but because its such a dramatic change. They show the hobbits getting wigs and feet and such, but no elf. Damn. Maybe on Two Towers.
Christopher Lee is certainly an interesting fellow. At first I couldn’t watch him without saying “Its Count Dookoo!”. He really could teach a class on Tolkien, though. He really has a fantastic grasp on the literature, its really interesting to listen to him talk about it. I would totally take a class if he taught it. But then again, he’s Christopher Lee, who wouldn’t?
One thing I have noticed is what wonderful storytellers all of the actors are. I suppose that acting and telling stories really go hand-in-hand. Dom always immitates whoever he is talking about, which is hilarious. John Rhys-Davies's story about the boating accient is priceless. You have to picture him with his very distinguished english accent...but it essentially goes like this.
*deep breath*
(in all seriousness)
It grieves me to talk about this because in a boat situation when there is an elf and there is a dwarf in a training boat, and the boat capsizes, ::dramatic pause:: let us say that the blame was placed on the dwarf.
But there might just have been an element of…
(beams)
Grim satisfaction in the dwarf’s face when he heard of another boating accident which also involved the elf.
*cut to shot of breathtakingly good looking young man*
(shaking head)
“I cant believe that John would say that was my fault, did he really say it was my fault? He’s unbelievable then!”
So, em, yes, to sum it up and stop myself from telling you 80 more stories, I love the dvd set, and you should buy it too, because its fabulous.
I went to the used book store today, which is always so much fun. I wanted to pick up some books from the list of books I want to read this year, and I knew they had most of them. Calvin the cat, after whom the store is named, was sleeping high atop a bookshelf today. I almost forgot he was there until I heard a meow and then a soft thud as he jumped down onto the desk, and then set off on his rounds to be sure that everyone in the shop petted him.
I found Travels with Charley, which I was excited about since I’ve had the book out of the library for months, 1984, Catcher in the Rye, and a book of Edgar Allen Poe. I only had $5 on me, so I had to leave the Poe book behind, as I didn’t want to spend all of my money. The owner ended up giving me Travels with Charley for free, so I only spent $1.88 total for the three. Can’t beat that!
I stopped at Maurices to pay my credit card bill, and they were having a half price sale, so I got a shirt and a jacket. Yay! I felt silly charging stuff after being there to pay my bill, but c’est la vie.
Given my new elf-love, I of course do the geeky girl thing and looked up some interviews and such online. I haven’t been around the whole fan-girl culture since I was 16 or so, and very much one of them. Its really weird to look at it a few years later, and think that I used to spend a lot of time with this stuff. Now reading through most of their obsessions go back and forth between being scary and sad. I just read a thread about Orlando on a message board where someone mentioned that he liked blondes, and all of these girls were freaking out because they didn’t have blonde hair, talking about dying it and such. It is kind of interesting because I remember being at that age, when you would do anything to get the boy. I remember actually wanting a certain pair of shoes because the current crush had some like them. Isn’t that crazy? Thank God that with age comes the attitude of “I’m an auburn-haired goddess, and if he doesn’t dig that, his loss.”
I also read on a different message board the tale of a girl who says that upon meeting Orlando, she asked if she could lick his hand, and he let her. The story sounds made up, and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if it was made up for attention, but if it’s not… who really wants to lick someone’s hand? My goodness, if you’re going to ask for something, ask for something good ;) And how much does that completely de-humanize the person you’re asking? If someone asked to lick my hand, I would most likely give them a very fearful look, and run away quickly. Or bitch-slap them. Crazy crazy fan girls.
Several people have asked me about the t-shirt I posted the other day. First, for those who couldn't see it clearly enough...
And if you have to ask why? Heh.
I adore when it started to grow out, and was still kinda mohawky. Silly elf boy.
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posted by Crystal 4:45 AM
Friday, January 10, 2003
How cute is this t-shirt?
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posted by Crystal 4:07 PM
Tuesday, January 07, 2003
Favourite journal quote of the day from this one:"Also what with him [Gandalf] being all in white and Saruman being in even more blinding white is beginning to resemble laundry bleach commercial. "No, Saruman! MY whites are brighter! AAAAAARGH!"
Eliija and I seem to have similar goals in life. Just look at this picture.
The collection of lifesized cardboard thingies I must purchase for my house (when I get one) is growing. Now I must have Darth Maul, Obi Wan, and this one. Why did they have to put the two of them together? Are they trying to imply that they are not worthy of seperate standy thingies? sigh.
Yup, still the geekiest. Lets see how long this obsession lasts.
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posted by Crystal 12:24 PM
I apologize, but I simply had to post this:
Legolas is my fancy!
What's your fancy? Click here and tell the world!
I am going to chop my alarm clock into little pieces. I set it for 7am last night, since I needed to be in Nixa at 8am. Well, my clock did in deed say 7am when it woke me up, but when I stumbled into the kitchen, the kitchen clock read 6:30. Damn clock.
I'm back in that habit of playing a movie over and over in the background while I'm at home. Now its Breakfast At Tiffany's. I think we all know what movie it will be next.
Speaking of the aforementioned dvd, which I will not name as I have been a big geek lately and talked about nothing but, it has made it from Kansas to Oklahoma to Springfield in the past 12 hours! Isnt that lovely? I think it is. I should get it tomorrow. That makes me very very happy. I love UPS tracking. My happy little dvd is currently on its way from Springfield to Branson, so I suppose it could even come today, but I don't expect it to. Amazon.com still says for me to expect it on the 16th. I think they are smoking something.
I know it really shouldn't, but for some reason, that Secret LOTR diaries site I came across really cracks me up.
"Have agreed to carry Ring to Mordor. In hindsight, probably a bad move."(From Frodo's diary)
and from Legolas's-"Went to Council of Elrond. Was prettiest person there"
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posted by Crystal 11:59 AM
Monday, January 06, 2003
My comments arent working anymore, and this makes me very sad. Kel linked me to the comment system she uses, but they aren’t taking new registrations right now, so I would be very grateful if someone could hook me up with a link to another one.
How much did I love the season premiere of the new RW/RR challenge? So much! So very much! I love Puck now. Who ever expected that? Plus, I put him on my mtv.com challenge team because I thought he would earn me points with lots of bleeped out words and fights (You get points for them doing specific things), and I never thought he would earn me some points by crying! Thanks, Puck!! If I win the car, I’ll send you a thank-you.
I’m considering going to see Two Towers again, just because I’ll probably never get the chance to see it on IMAX again. Plus, maybe I can be more coherent in my thought process this time and come out with something other than “Legolas is HOT!”. And I appreciate that nobody has made the “Wow, Crystal, we knew you liked older men, but a 2,931 year old elf? Where do you draw the line?” joke yet. And if you havent seen what he looks like without the blonde hair and blue eyes? Go here. Yum.
Oh, and in case you’re keeping track? Fictional Characters Crystal is currently in love with: An elf nearly 3000 years old, a werewolf, and an escaped prisoner. Mom would be proud.
Can not wait for my LOTR 4-disk fancy pants dvd set to get here. Cant wait cant wait! I am mostly excited about the 2 bonus disks, and the commentary done my 10 of the actors. Worth the price for that alone!
And finally, before I am off to bed because I have to get up at 7 freaking am, here is a lovely link I found!
According to the Red Book of Westmarch,
In Middle-earth, Crystal Louise Ward was a
Forgotten Bird-tamer
Elven Name Possibilities for Crystal Louise Ward
The root name suitable for feminine and masculine is:
calenhyando
Another masculine version is:
calenhyandoion
More feminine versions are:
calenhyandoiel
calenhyandoien
calenhyandowen
Hobbit lad name for Crystal Louise Ward
Merry Tussle from The Far Downs
Hobbit lass name for Crystal Louise Ward
Adamanta Tussle from The Far Downs
Dwarven Name for Crystal Louise Ward
Perin Elfcryer
This name is for both genders.
Orkish Name for Crystal Louise Ward
Maurárz the Malicious
This name is for both genders.
Learn all of your nicknames by going here!
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posted by Crystal 11:27 PM
Sunday, January 05, 2003
Finally finally finally! After being delayed by snowstorms, alien abductions, and every other possible delay known to man, I finally got to go see LOTR: The Two Towers last night! Christa and Barret came down from Springfield for the occasion, and we had the great joy of seeing it on the giant IMAX screen. I can’t even begin to tell you how fan-freakin-tastic it was! I am now madly in love with Orlando Bloom and Viggo What’s-his-name (Okay, so I already was after Fellowship, but now I am even more so!) I really think they figured out the sex appeal they had going here, so it was like “Okay, lets put another shot of soaking wet Aragorn being all bad-ass here. The chicks will dig it. Okay, now another shot of Legolas standing on a mountain looking pensive. Goood…”
And it must be said: How gay are Frodo and Sam? Those are some gay hobbits. I am totally hoping for a hobbit make-out scene in the third movie. Give me some hot hobbit-on-hobbit action! I had fun adding lines to the movie here and there. “Mr. Frodo, I love you with all my heart and soul!”
Favorite line ever: “What you say makes no sense to me, but then again, you are very small”. I must incorporate this into my daily conversations.
I finally cashed in on the fact that mom owed me one more dvd from Christmas. It was decided a few days ago that if I didn’t own the snazzy version of Fellowship of the Rings, I would surely die. I felt bad making mom pay $30, so I decided to split the cost with her, and as a result, four whole disks of Ring love will be here within a week. Yay!
Big, big crush on Orlando Bloom. Did I mention that? Just wanted to be sure.
I wish my digital camera were working so that you could see Tallulah right now. I just made my bed, and she is all curled up on the pillows, looking like One Kitten to Rule Them All.
You may recall that about this time last year, I asked for suggestions of which books I should read this year. Therefore, I ask again. Please send me lots of suggestions of books you have loved, preferably including a couple sentences telling what's it about. You can leave them in the comments (if they are working!) or e-mail me, but if you do e-mail me, please put something about books in the title so that I dont think you are porn spam and delete you.
And now I am off to play Zoo Tycoon, because I haven’t played in ages, and it sounds quite amusing right now.
And finally, I put up a nice little album of pictures of the trip Katie and I took to the Rainforest Cafe while I was in FL. Go see them here. I think they make you log in to view them, but its free, so do it anyway.
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posted by Crystal 10:21 AM
Thursday, January 02, 2003
I forgot to add this before I posted that end of the year list. I decided to go through and list all of Tallulah Jane's nicknames. This is the list:
Lula---Lulu---Talluie---Talluie Kablooie---Boo Boo---Boo---Boo Kitten---Baby love---Baby Lou---Bubba Lou---Louie Blue---Kitten Head----Kee-ton---Lula Jane---Janey---Janey kitten---Moo Gu Gai Pan---Kitten butt----Love kitten----Kitten tail---TJ---LJ (Forgot about these two until I read old journal entries)----Kitten cat
23. My seven-month old kitten has twenty-three nicknames. Crazy.
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posted by Crystal 1:59 AM
Okay, so its about a day late, but I present to you my end of the year summary!
In January… I was sickly and skinny, the car shopping began, I got Woody, and was still abking cookies.
In February… I started going to MK meetings again, discovered the joy of satellite TV, and was damn happy with it, Rich came to visit.
In March…I got Sugar Daddy, Sinatra (my fish) died, there was a lot of rain and a lot of reading, and was mostly unemployed.
In April…I got giggly as the rest of the world discovered Michelle Branch, discovered my arch enemies The Wiggles, started my truth-beauty-freedom-love collage (Its still not finished), made an attempt at breeding my fish, went back to work baking cookies, met Monica, did lots of trail riding, nearly killed a squirrel with a cookie, and painted my bathroom.
In May… I was Marilyn Monroe, went to Pat’s NSD debut, got fingerprinted by the police, became a disgruntled postal worker, battled the great green go-kart of death, I got my magic DVD player and signed up for Netflix, Tallulah Jane was born (Hooray!), I started working for Executive Services, discovered that my horse has a mule fetish, went team penning. (May was a busy busy month!)
In June…I got the two best kittens in the WORLD, Kelly and I road tripped to Simucon, and Simucon kicked our asses. That was pretty much June.
In July…I did the Blogathon again, bought $16 donuts, got my lovely new car, and was a lovely house-sitter for a week.
In August… I discovered my Godiva chocolate addiction, got a random insuancec check in the mail, went through an emotional breakup with the boyfriend, started planning my vacation.
In September…I saw a 10-Story tall Ewan, started belly dancing, did a lot of trail riding, and remembered 9/11.
In October…I went to our MK retreat, did a lot of vacation planning, and frankly, not much else happened.
In November…I took a stab at NaNoWriMo, got a henna tattoo, went to Disney World, watched Japanese soap operas with Katie, drooled over foreign men with Nate, had a tooth issue, and bought my Reese Witherspoon jeans.
In December… I turned 21, got chased by a storm, had a white Christmas, got re-addicted to Tetris and Free Cell, and visited Kelly in Texas.
Ta da! I had a lovely time reading over my archives and remembering everything that happened this year. I have to quote a few favorite posts:
(Somewhere in July) "Cassie is the lovey snuggly one, and Lulu, last I saw, was trying to kill my plunger."
(Not sure when this was)
Me: “And so your road trip alias is what you had for breakfast, and the location of your last vacation.”
Me: So, I’d be Oreo StLouis
Kelly: I’d be Godiva Louis
Me: You know, maybe its time for us to re-examine our eating habits.
And finally, one of my favorite posts:
The scene: Cute, rather disgruntled mail chick driving along the road, getting really sick of Monica yelling at her. She has black ink smeared across her face from delivering flyers.
Cute, Rather Disgruntled Mail Chick: (In a tone that sounds far more evil than one would expect her of being capable of) HEY!!! BE NICE TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!
People walking through their yard to get their mail: (stare at CRDMC)
CRDMC: (realizes her jeep door is open and they can therefore hear her perfectly well.) (Smiles and waves) (pause) (Falls over laughing at the next mail box realizing that the poor people thought she was yelling at them, and what that must have looked like.
If you live on Kays Ave. and thought I was yelling at you today, I really wasn’t. I promise.
Hee hee. I giggle just remembering it.
As you probably don’t remember, one of my resolutions last year was to read 25 books this year. I just counted up all I could remember and got 24, so lets hope I forgot one, and pretend I did it. Yay, me! Lets go for 30 this year.
I haven't written resolutions for this year yet, but I know that one of them will be to do at least 10 things from my Quest list. I updated the list with a few things I had left off, as well as adding links to the lists that have been sent to me so far. More updates soon!
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posted by Crystal 1:56 AM
